My neighbour sexually harasses me.

Today, like most days, I had to go out to run some errands. When I left my house, I locked the door, and walked down the path to get to where my car is parked. The layout of where I live is very quaint: there are five houses down our lane; we live in the 3rd and this guy lives with his wife in the 4th. Our lane is so narrow we can’t drive down it.

Anyway, today, my neighbour was sat in his porch, as usual, pretending to do work. As I turned to head up the path, he wolf-whistled at me. I rolled my eyes, and carried on walking. When I ignored him, he did it louder, and yelled out, “alright my love?” I felt awkward and uncomfortable, so I just waved and smiled at him before hurrying up the path. When I came back, I stuck my head round the corner to see where he was, and as quick as I could, ran down the lane and unlocked the front door.

I think you can tell, that this was not an isolated incident. I have never shown any interest in him at all, except the odd polite hello when I see him and his wife. When I had my friends over on our last day, he kept hanging out by the garden fence, asking us for a drink and making comments about how my female friends and I were dressed. NOT OK. One of my friends already has issues with men because her father’s an asshole, how could he be so rude?

But he has always been like that to my sister and I. I first remember him making comments about my in my school uniform when I was four. I now realise that is absolutely disgusting. My sister and I discuss it sometimes, and she feels the same way as me. We just don’t know how to react. My parents think he’s just joking. Yesterday when he did it, he was chatting to someone in the porch, who just laughed as I walked away. We have tried discussing it with our parents, but they say he’s only having a laugh. But sexually harassing someone isn’t something to laugh about.

Some people may think I’m being over-sensitive, but this has had a really big effect on my life. Sometimes when I go out I feel awkward and uncomfortable, to the extent that on a really bad day, I feel like people are staring at me, and I have this massive urge to run home as fast as I can. I won’t let people touch me unless they ask me and I tell them it’s ok. This even goes for my parents, who act hurt when I shake off their hugs. It makes me nervous to leave the house, which makes me feel socially anxious.

It is important to note he has never actually touched me, but since doing some research, I have learnt that verbal sexual harassment is dealt with the same severity as physical sexual harassment, and is classified by the UN as:

  • Referring to an adult as a girl, hunk, doll, babe, or honey. – While not written here, I’m sure “my love” also counts as well.
  • Whistling someone, cat calls. – This is definitely the most frequent.
  • Making sexual comments about a person’s body. – I am not the most body-confident person in the world, so I hate this the most.
  • Making sexual comments and innuendos. – Also check.
  • Turning work discussions into sexual comments. – He hasn’t done this one.
  • Telling sexual jokes or stories. – This was all he did at his wedding anniversary party. Seriously. With his wife in the same room.
  • Asking about sexual fantasies, preferences, or history. – He makes a big show if he hears I’ve brought a guy home.
  • Asking personal questions about social or sexual life. – He asks if my friends are seeing anyone.
  • Making kissing sounds. – All. The. Time.
  • Making sexual comments about a person’s clothing, anatomy, or looks. – Also really uncomfortable.
  • Repeatedly asking a person out who is not interested. – He does this “as a joke”, but is still really annoying.
  • Telling lies or spreading rumours about a person’s personal sex life. – He hasn’t done this one.

Having checked all but two of these criteria shows how unacceptable this is. But does anyone listen? Apparently not. I just hope he doesn’t start harassing the little girls who live at the end of our lane, because then he will have a serious problem to deal with. No one should have to put up with this on a daily basis.

I’m in a bra-funk.

It’s true. I find it quite difficult to find bras in my size, even though I know for a fact that I have far from abnormally massive tits. My problem is that I am large, yet proportionate. The shops and websites that specialise in “curvy”/large-breasted bras really only specialise in bras for women who have had implants: small chest sizes, large bust sizes. I am just large and large. A shop which generally has some “boob-equality” is Marks and Spencer, but their bras can be really poorly made. Being jabbed in the middle of the day by a wire is not uncommon. Another problem I have with their bras is that the strap adjustment slips under the weight of my boobs, so I start the day slightly more perkier than I end it. Shopping with them is no picnic, either. I asked an assistant for some advice about which type of bra would keep me contained for the longest. She sighed, showed me to the minimisers, which I then said I wasn’t interested in, so she suggested that maybe this wasn’t the place for me. Rude. So, I’ve done some research online to show you which affordable bras (all under £25) are the best types for us well-endowed females:

My favourite website to look at was Debenhams, because many of the lines did a small-boob balconette style, along with a larger-boob balconette style, which is virtually unheard of. The next website I tried was Ann Summers, but all their bras had teeny-tiny cups, which would lend themselves to escapage. The third bra along was from ASOS, which I was really disappointed with. Upon reaching their bra page, they boasted a range of about 400 bras, but when I input my size, only 7 results showed up. Seriously. But this was a really nice, basic bra. There were loads of those £20 two-packs on Figleaves, which all seemed pretty nice, so I just put on my favourite. The last bra was from a website I’d never heard of before called brastop. Their range was variable, but I came across this little gem which I thought was really pretty, and because of the high cup and no dipping cleavage, lends itself to virtually no escapage.

Anyone know of anywhere else great to get bras?

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